Your Experience & Thoughts ยป Little Miracles: Part 2

  • Steve Rapson
    Steve Rapson
    I am open to miracles of all kinds. And I am glad when they arrive. I don't question from whence they came. If there is mystery, no problem. If it's because I worked hard and something unexpected paid off, I am good with that, too. My problem with miracles is that I seem to never get enough. No matter how many hoped for events occur, it seems I want more. The 'never enough' thing is part of being human I guess. For example: Many years ago I was afflicted with a few addictions. Alcohol, cigarettes, and food. The Unholy Triumvirate. I compensated for indulging in these habits by punishing myself with extreme exercise. I rode my bike to work every day, Quincy to Boston's YMCA, where I then played a hour of racquetball. After my knees gave out I substituted swimming for racquetball. I rode winter spring, summer and fall. My bike was equipped with studded tires for ice and snow. Often I would get injured and be unable to exercise. Thus I would gain weight. On my bike one morning, after an evening of particular over-indulgence, I was bent over my growing mid-section, head pounding with a hangover, and wheezing for breath while hocking up big yellow gobs of phlegm. (Yes, I know.) I was miserable and it pained me to realize the misery was self-induced. I peddled along thinking thus, "Oh, God! Alcohol, Cigarettes, Food... the three banes of my existence. The Unholy Triumvirate. I would be grateful and forever in your debt, dear God, if I could be free of just one of these vices." A few more years passed before that prayer was answered. Now, over twenty years later, I am free of two of them. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I consider it miraculous that this happened. So many years of trying and failing. And then, I stopped trying. I gave up and gave it to God, as they say. I am not saying that the Creative Intelligence of Universe (who I generally call God to keep sentences from running on too long... well, not this one) heard my plea and intervened on my behalf. That's too much of a stretch for a seeking soul. I am saying that I gave it away to whomever wanted it, because I was no longer in control of it... could never control it. And I was told if I gave up trying to control it... gave it away... miracles could happen. So I got two big miracles. Am I grateful? Not totally. What about the food addiction thing? This was supposed to be a package deal. Prayer, Fasting, and Clean Living. A friend tells me this is all that is required for a life filled with miracles. A tall order. But I keep at it. Happy for the miracles in my life. And doing my best to not expect more than my share.

    I am open to miracles of all kinds. And I am glad when they arrive. I don't question from whence they came. If there is mystery, no problem. If it's because I worked hard and something unexpected paid off, I am good with that, too.

    My problem with miracles is that I seem to never get enough. No matter how many hoped for events occur, it seems I want more. The 'never enough' thing is part of being human I guess. For example:

    Many years ago I was afflicted with a few addictions. Alcohol, cigarettes, and food. The Unholy Triumvirate. I compensated for indulging in these habits by punishing myself with extreme exercise. I rode my bike to work every day, Quincy to Boston's YMCA, where I then played a hour of racquetball. After my knees gave out I substituted swimming for racquetball. I rode winter spring, summer and fall. My bike was equipped with studded tires for ice and snow. Often I would get injured and be unable to exercise. Thus I would gain weight.

    On my bike one morning, after an evening of particular over-indulgence, I was bent over my growing mid-section, head pounding with a hangover, and wheezing for breath while hocking up big yellow gobs of phlegm. (Yes, I know.) I was miserable and it pained me to realize the misery was self-induced.

    I peddled along thinking thus, "Oh, God! Alcohol, Cigarettes, Food... the three banes of my existence. The Unholy Triumvirate. I would be grateful and forever in your debt, dear God, if I could be free of just one of these vices." A few more years passed before that prayer was answered.

    Now, over twenty years later, I am free of two of them. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I consider it miraculous that this happened. So many years of trying and failing. And then, I stopped trying. I gave up and gave it to God, as they say. I am not saying that the Creative Intelligence of Universe (who I generally call God to keep sentences from running on too long... well, not this one) heard my plea and intervened on my behalf. That's too much of a stretch for a seeking soul. I am saying that I gave it away to whomever wanted it, because I was no longer in control of it... could never control it. And I was told if I gave up trying to control it... gave it away... miracles could happen.

    So I got two big miracles. Am I grateful? Not totally. What about the food addiction thing? This was supposed to be a package deal.

    Prayer, Fasting, and Clean Living. A friend tells me this is all that is required for a life filled with miracles. A tall order. But I keep at it. Happy for the miracles in my life. And doing my best to not expect more than my share.

Add your message- It will be added as the newest post