1. Fifty Cents

By Sam Devere 1885, additional lyrics by Steve


Fifty Cents Original version by Sam Devere 1885, additional lyrics by Steve Rapson 2005

I took my gal to a dance one night, it was one fancy hop.
We danced all night till the lights went out and the music had to stop
Then to a restaurant we went, the finest in the state.
She said she wasn't hungry but this is what she ate.

A dozen raw, a plate of slaw, a chicken and a roast,
Applesass and asparagrass, and soft-shell crabs on toast.
A great big stew, crackers too; her appetite was immense!
When she called for pie, I thought I'd die,
‘Cause I had but fifty cents.

She said she wasn't hungry and didn't care to eat,
But I've money in my clothes that says she can't be beat.
She took it in so easily, she had one awful tank.
She said she wasn't thirsty, but this is what she drank.

A whisky skim, a glass of gin, it made me shake with fear,
A soda pop with rum on top, and a schooner full of beer,
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail, she should’a had better sense.
When she called for more I fell on the floor
‘Cause I had but fifty cents.

My little gal she finished off with an ice cream can
She said I’ll tell my Mama you’re such a nice man
I felt inside my pockets, hoping more I’d find
But all I had’s a quarter, three nickels, and a dime

I gave the man my fifty cents and told him that was all
He said that for my poor joke he wasn’t going to fall
But when he saw my trembling hand he dragged me in the hall
Where my cash flow problems soon appeared to me quite small.

He broke my nose, he tore my clothes, and bounced me off the door
Gave me a prize of two black eyes, and with me scrubbed the floor.
He grabbed me where my pants hung loose and threw me over the fence.
Said take my advice, don't try it twice when you have but fifty cents.